Hi, my name is James Grade:7 Best Holiday: Christmas Birth Month:November Career Goals: Become a physical therapist Favorite Band(s): ACDC Favorite Food:Pistachio cake Favorite snack: cookies Favorite soft drink: Cream soda Favorite Subject:Gym Pets:no pets but I wish I have a dog Siblings:1 step sister
One day a child named Henry went to his friends house. When he got there Francis was busy feeding his pet spiders a special growth food for a science project. When the fair came around they only got a D-. Francis was furious. He pledged that he would someday create Giant spiders. It’s been two years since then. A few days ago Francis and his family went missing. There are investigators and police all over the case. There is no clues as to where they are or what happend only a few signs of struggle. Henry suspects that Francis actually did create giant spiders. However he Knows better than to tell anyone. The police would put him in a crazy house. Henry decided to look for anything he could find that would help him prove his theory. He went into the mountains that overlooked the town. When inside the mountains he saw something that completely blew his mind. The Giant spiders didn’t kill Francis and his family. well they did kill his family but Francis was the leader of the giant spiders. The spiders where planning an attack on the town at nightfall. Henry runs out of the mountains and looks at the sky. The sun was setting. He only had a few moments before thousands of spiders being lead by Francis came rushing out of the mountainside. He got home just as the last sign of the sun ducks behind the earth. Henry hurries to get his binoculars. He runs to the window to see the sight of thousands of spiders running out of the mountains. He tells everyone that he could about this. No one believed him. He ran to the safest place he could the mall. It was closing time so he snuck inside and hid. Meanwhile the workers start to close the mall and bring the metal barriers to keep burgulurs out. These barriers will now protect him from the spiders. Soon he could hear the screams of the townspeople. The screams got louder and closer. He then heard people banging on the metal barriers. Thoughts raced through his mind. Should he open the barrier and risk letting the spiders in or should he stay put and save his own life. He decided to open the barriers. he got everyone in right before the spiders came. Now there was only one problem. The spiders Know that they are in the mall and they can’t get out. The townspeople and Henry are in a deathtrap. Everyone scrambles for any type of weapons guns knives brooms chainsaws anything. Soon the Giant Turrantula, the leader of the giant spiders started to break down the barriers. The townspeople where being overun. There was nowhere to run. Their only hope was if they could reach the army. There was another problem. The only people who had there cell phones with them where all dead. The remaining townspople ran forward breaking through the spiders lines. searching dead bodies finally they found one however everything was chaos. Almost everyone was dead. Henry called for the marines and air force. Only the air force responded. They where going to drop a nuclear bomb on the town in fifteen minutes. That meant they had to get out of there fast. Henry found an air vent but it was to late for everyone else. he quikly got out of the mall and then out of the town into the woods just in time to see the fireworks. The onrushing wave of spiders stopped and where pumbled to a pulp. Everyone was dead exept him. He then realized that not even the government would want to keep anyone alive. They would want everyone involved in this incident to be terminated and seeing how his mom and dad where dead it would be easier to kill him. He couldn’t go to a orphanige they would be able to track him down and kill him. He din’t have any money and he needed to get as far away from this place as possible. The Army will be searching for survivers. It was to late, the army found him but rather than kill him they let him live. He now resides in a safe house that the government protects and gets tutored so his outside interactions are very limited. No one nows where he lives. There is no evidence that there was even a giant spider attack on that town, or if there was even a town there at all.
Questions for Peer Reviewers
1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)? WOW!!! I couldn't have seen a piece more original than this one. I think it is super creative to have giant spiders although I was confused at many times because of the many grammar mistakes that were made. You had a creative plot but you skipped into another scene way too fast. For example when Henry is under attack from the giant spiders, he is one place then another. I would like to see more detail there.
2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed? You had a very exciting climax that caught my attention and kept me in the story. Even though the suspense kept me reading I think you should have added a lot more detail of what happened in that specific place since it is the climax or the falling action.
3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?
I think that the characters are well explained in you stor. I could see that Francis was a determined kind of person but he obviously did not turn out that well. I think you could have started a bit slower in order to explain Henry's character since most of time he was fighting the spiders or rather trying to survive.
4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you see and hear and experience the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story?
I could definetely feel the suspense in my body and I felt as though I was experiencing and going through the problems that Henry went through. I would once again like to see more details at the end beause after what seemed like 4 lines the problem was resolved. Other than that I like the imagery.
5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author?
Well besides adding a lot of details I think you could fix the grammer mistakes that you had. The beginning could have more explaining about the characters which would naturally create a good introduction.
ISKL Vidya
Questions for Peer Reviewers
1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)?
2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?
3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?
4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you see and hear and experience the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story?
5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author?
Questions for Peer Reviewers
1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)?
2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?
3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?
4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you see and hear and experience the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story?
5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author?
Grade:7
Best Holiday: Christmas
Birth Month:November
Career Goals: Become a physical therapist
Favorite Band(s): ACDC
Favorite Food:Pistachio cake
Favorite snack: cookies
Favorite soft drink: Cream soda
Favorite Subject:Gym
Pets:no pets but I wish I have a dog
Siblings:1 step sister
One day a child named Henry went to his friends house. When he got there Francis was busy feeding his pet spiders a special growth food for a science project. When the fair came around they only got a D-. Francis was furious. He pledged that he would someday create Giant spiders. It’s been two years since then. A few days ago Francis and his family went missing. There are investigators and police all over the case. There is no clues as to where they are or what happend only a few signs of struggle. Henry suspects that Francis actually did create giant spiders. However he Knows better than to tell anyone. The police would put him in a crazy house. Henry decided to look for anything he could find that would help him prove his theory. He went into the mountains that overlooked the town. When inside the mountains he saw something that completely blew his mind. The Giant spiders didn’t kill Francis and his family. well they did kill his family but Francis was the leader of the giant spiders. The spiders where planning an attack on the town at nightfall. Henry runs out of the mountains and looks at the sky. The sun was setting. He only had a few moments before thousands of spiders being lead by Francis came rushing out of the mountainside. He got home just as the last sign of the sun ducks behind the earth. Henry hurries to get his binoculars. He runs to the window to see the sight of thousands of spiders running out of the mountains. He tells everyone that he could about this. No one believed him. He ran to the safest place he could the mall. It was closing time so he snuck inside and hid. Meanwhile the workers start to close the mall and bring the metal barriers to keep burgulurs out. These barriers will now protect him from the spiders. Soon he could hear the screams of the townspeople. The screams got louder and closer. He then heard people banging on the metal barriers. Thoughts raced through his mind. Should he open the barrier and risk letting the spiders in or should he stay put and save his own life. He decided to open the barriers. he got everyone in right before the spiders came. Now there was only one problem. The spiders Know that they are in the mall and they can’t get out. The townspeople and Henry are in a deathtrap. Everyone scrambles for any type of weapons guns knives brooms chainsaws anything. Soon the Giant Turrantula, the leader of the giant spiders started to break down the barriers. The townspeople where being overun. There was nowhere to run. Their only hope was if they could reach the army. There was another problem. The only people who had there cell phones with them where all dead. The remaining townspople ran forward breaking through the spiders lines. searching dead bodies finally they found one however everything was chaos. Almost everyone was dead. Henry called for the marines and air force. Only the air force responded. They where going to drop a nuclear bomb on the town in fifteen minutes. That meant they had to get out of there fast. Henry found an air vent but it was to late for everyone else. he quikly got out of the mall and then out of the town into the woods just in time to see the fireworks. The onrushing wave of spiders stopped and where pumbled to a pulp. Everyone was dead exept him. He then realized that not even the government would want to keep anyone alive. They would want everyone involved in this incident to be terminated and seeing how his mom and dad where dead it would be easier to kill him. He couldn’t go to a orphanige they would be able to track him down and kill him. He din’t have any money and he needed to get as far away from this place as possible. The Army will be searching for survivers. It was to late, the army found him but rather than kill him they let him live. He now resides in a safe house that the government protects and gets tutored so his outside interactions are very limited. No one nows where he lives. There is no evidence that there was even a giant spider attack on that town, or if there was even a town there at all.
Questions for Peer Reviewers
1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)?
WOW!!! I couldn't have seen a piece more original than this one. I think it is super creative to have giant spiders although I was confused at many times because of the many grammar mistakes that were made. You had a creative plot but you skipped into another scene way too fast. For example when Henry is under attack from the giant spiders, he is one place then another. I would like to see more detail there.
2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?
You had a very exciting climax that caught my attention and kept me in the story. Even though the suspense kept me reading I think you should have added a lot more detail of what happened in that specific place since it is the climax or the falling action.
3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?
I think that the characters are well explained in you stor. I could see that Francis was a determined kind of person but he obviously did not turn out that well. I think you could have started a bit slower in order to explain Henry's character since most of time he was fighting the spiders or rather trying to survive.
4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you see and hear and experience the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story?
I could definetely feel the suspense in my body and I felt as though I was experiencing and going through the problems that Henry went through. I would once again like to see more details at the end beause after what seemed like 4 lines the problem was resolved. Other than that I like the imagery.
5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author?
Well besides adding a lot of details I think you could fix the grammer mistakes that you had. The beginning could have more explaining about the characters which would naturally create a good introduction.
ISKL Vidya
Questions for Peer Reviewers
1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)?
2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?
3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?
4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you see and hear and experience the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story?
5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author?
Questions for Peer Reviewers
1. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?) What suggestions do you have for the author(s)?
2. Think about problems that the characters face. Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?
3. Think of characterization—are the characters life-like? Are characters likable and enjoyable? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?
4. Think of imagery and details. Do they help you see and hear and experience the story? What details would you like to see in the next revision of the story?
5. What areas of the story need the most improvement? What suggestions do you have for the author?